10 chapters in...
You know, the dangerous thing about preconceived notions is that there are some instances where no matter what you think you are going to get - you still have the potential to get side swiped.
Yesterday, I mentioned the book, Ask and It Is Given. I am about to begin Chapter 11, and I hate to sound like a walking endorsement, but...why didn't I pick this book up six months ago?? I know why, because it wasn't time. It is a simple read, and repetitive, but for someone like me, who sometimes needs to have specific messages pounded into her head repeatedly to make it all stick, the "easy read simple to digest" format makes the content extremely retain-able.
Let me just share with you a quote from this book that really resonated with me, thus far.
Worrying is using your imagination to create something you do not want. - Esther and Jerry Hicks.
This immediately makes me think of AngelaMichelle's great motto, "thoughts are things." In fact I immediately thought of her after reading that line. So very true. Simply put, this book attests that you have the ability to deter the very things in your life you seek, by not remaining in the frame of mind to receive them once you've indicated your desire. By dwelling on the past, or obsessing of what you think you do not have - you further ward off the things you say you wish to have. I'm paraphrasing to avoid putting blocks of text in here. But if you take that concept and apply it to yourself, you could see how that logic could fit.
For myself, I know professionally I've had a very good run. I've had some great positions, worked on some great projects and accomplished some pretty cool things. I would almost say that although I have worked hard, the journey itself has been a relatively seamless one. Even when it came down to finding the job that would bring me to Texas. I was aggressive and strong willed until an opportunity surfaced. When I think about the areas of my life where I have struggled, or where I have felt somehow denied or inadequate...it's always been in an area of my life where I didn't possess that same energy, that same purpose and intention. And I didn't possess that positive energy - because it wasn't an aspect of me that I felt particularly great about.
If it is about a job, or the ability to do something that required some intellectual fortitude, I've gone in guns blazing. Never believing for an instant that I'm not capable of what I choose to do. Confident in what I know, assured in who I am. Socially? Personally? I've not been nearly so confident. I've always stepped into relationships expecting disaster. Full of doubt regarding myself and what I bring to the table beyond my big...brain. I've gone into them wanting desperately to be loved, but not believing truly, deeply and fully that I would be. I go in, almost as if I am trying to sneak myself in under someone's radar screen. Almost as if to say,
"Please don't find out I'm boring, and clumsy and odd. Because I'm sure once you do...you're outta here."
Well if you follow the logic of the Laws of Attraction, you get what you give. You live with doubt, fear, hesitation and feelings of inadequacy, you will draw in - doubt, fear, hesitation and feelings of inadequacy. And if you're not careful - you'll blame the other person for bringing it to you, when actually you might just be bringing it to yourself.
There's a lot in here that follows the same principles of The Secret. I'm not sure how much crossover there is...so for those who have read it, or pondered the Laws of Attraction, I'd be curious to get your perspectives.
End note...while I was reading this last night, I felt a strong desire to talk to my friend Lisane, my personal "life-coach," dearest friend and adopted wise sister. We hadn't touched base in about 6 weeks or so, and as I was reading, I was burning to talk to her...because she's been spiritually holding my hand through some dark moments since the day we met, while taking new jobs at the same company two and half years ago. We've laughed together, cried together, learned together and while I was reading this, I couldn't wait to talk to her, and promised myself I would speak to her the following day.
And of course, this morning, she calls me. I blabbered on about the book and some of the concepts...in the back of my mind thinking...
Yes. I get it this time.
And before I get on with the morning...this song has been in the back of my mind today. An unusual fit, but a fit nonetheless.
Comments
I get it :)
Thank you.
Latley, it seems, you've been wandering the catacombs of my mind... finding all the things that I've been pondering and questioning.
I'm trying to figure it all out too.
It must be working. The last wedding I shot (which was also my first.. and will be my last. Wedding photo. isn't for me) the grooms father remarked "wow.. I guess you've done this before".. it felt great that my confidence in my abilities showed through!
I guess Lisane is your DeWitte. I'm glad you have her.
Glad you are enjoying the book.
While I've never read Laws of Attraction, they make perfect sense. You can't move in this world, any part of it, confidently if you don't have confidence to begin with.
Well if you're trying to sell the book the campaign is working. And honestly I dare any single guy to get to know you and have the nerve to call you "boring." Those impressions start at home so you need to stop that. The clusiness is a whole 'nother topic. ;)
i am so filled to read this post! on one hand it's a blessing to see the fruits of your journey inward, and how it's taking shape and giving you the tools to co-create your world the way you want it to be. on the other hand... i feel so much less like an oddity. *lol* i honestly feel sometimes i border on crazy with some of the life concepts i uncover, but to see someone else is uncovering them too, in their own life and with their own interpretations, let's me know i aint that crazy afterall. :o)
yaaaaaaaaaay for you! yaaaaaaaaay for lisane! yaaaaaaaaay for you and lisane! having someone walking alongside you for the journey, pointing out various spots of scenery that may escape your sight, is indeed a treasure.
well, i've not much of use to say except it sounds like you're getting a lot out of the book (and really, taht's about all we can ask of anything, isn't it?). and maybe i oughta take a look at it myself.
oh, and i love that modest mouse song. good album. :)
The thing that worries me the most about the concept is that it might make us think that certain things are within our grasp when they aren't. That we might develop false expectations, and then when things go wrong, instead brushing it off, take it as a personal defect. Like because the thing you thought would happen didn't happen, there must be something wrong with you. I'm thinking along the lines of the mother/wife in American Beauty...
But maybe that just shows that I'm not well educated on the topic. Perhaps there's something written in to the process that protects against this.
I might also be worried that it has the potential to make us feel worse about any bad thoughts. Like something is wrong with us for feeling doubt, fear, or hesitation. I'm not quite sure about this, I'm just sort of following my gut here.
Thanks for the great post! I'm totally open minded to this, I just have a few worries is all. ;)
@KB: Thanks, my friend. *grins* I think I'm in a space now when I can actually hear that, and get it. It's a good feeling.
@Liz: I think you might wanna take a peek at it. I'd love your perspective. And that Modest Mouse track (and album) always remind me of sunshine and being surrounded by my favorite people.
@Jamie: She definitely came to me at a point in my life where I needed her. When we became fast friends working together at our former company, and she learned about the circus my life was at that point - it we joked that she was sent to be my lighthouse in the storm. Looking back...it really isn't a joke. She was the catalyst for so much positive growth in my life. A definite blessing. My DeWitte, for sure. Thank God for "shovers"
@Lea & Vissi: Something is definitely in the air.
"Even though a clear desire has eminated from you as a result of the contrast you have considered, (contrast being say, the problems with an old car as opposed to the desire of a new one you plan to buy) you often rather than giving your attention purely to the desire itself, focus back on the contrasting situation that gave birth to the desire. And in doing so, your vibration (energy) is more about the reason you have launched the desire than it is about the desire itself." - Ask and It Is Given, pg. 50.
It's odd, and I'm still digesting it all. But I'll tell you an exercise that made my jaw drop. I thought back to my mental/emotional state when I moved here. Went back to my journals to confirm. My fears, negative thoughts, doubts and concerns about what COULD go wrong in my relationship...were mirrored back to me. Almost inexplicably. It's almost like when you're around a nervous person..and suddenly your getting jittery and paranoid but you have no idea why? Not saying what happened wasn't "supposed" to happen...but I can see how the worry and negative energy I brought into it helped me to behave in ways I wouldn't have if it had been a project or something I felt more confident about.
It's heavy...and I'm not doing a good job of explaining it...
We do seem to be preoccupied with negative freedom as opposed to positive freedom. That is, we focus on obtaining freedom *from* things, instead of freedom *for* things. We think about escape, or baggage, or things we feel are weighing us down. We don't focus so much on what our situation gives us, or how our obligations give us meaning and freedom to love.
We're all about shedding what is bad in hopes that all we'll be left with is good. In that way, I think this is great. It is trying to get us to stop fixating on what we'd like to get rid of, and start thinking about what we'd like to have.
But in a sense, I feel like it's still trapped in the same way of thinking, just a deeper, better level. We're still trying to get rid of the bad, only this time we're trying to get rid of the bad thoughts. We're fixating on getting rid of the fixation of getting rid of things...haha. That might make no sense. Also, it might be a false assessment, seeing as I haven't read the book. ;)
and keep in mind, there is a big difference between being mindful, dwelling and fixating.
as far as developing false expectations, well... false expectations are in the mind of the beholder. *wink*
You know AM, as I move through this book, and just...eye-opening conversations, the other piece of this I am seeing is the impact other energy has on ours!!
Don't know if you've ever noticed this...but ever have a "CLEAR" day where you just feel like you can scale any mountain, achieve any goal and you're just high on the fact that you're alive, and you speak with someone who's energy is so negative, you almost wanna run from them? It's almost that feeling you get when you're near someone with a bad cold, scrambling away going, "I don't wanna catch THAT!"
...and then you realize one of your favorite pasttimes was to sit in the "poo" with them and ruminate over every little thing that has gone the slightest bit wrong in your life? You almost trade negative experiences like baseball cards?
I am just...stunned. I wanna run tell everyone what I'm thinking and feeling. So far, I have received nods and knowing smiles, and one..."that sounds really stupid."
(I laughed at that one)
i live with eeyore. it's like that every day in my house... although since out last major blow up he has gotten better at staying on the positive side of things. i'm thankful for that, not just because it makes the air in the house lighters, but it's so much healthier for him. oh, and i don't seem so much like a first class b*tch when i ignore his tirades.
you were right to laugh at that "one". they'll catch it sooner or later. if not in this go round then in one of the later ones.
I am sort of seeing parallels between this and St. Ignatius's idea of discernment. Of listening to the voices inside you and trying to identify them as coming from "the evil spirit" or from the "good spirit." That is, whether listening to that voice will lead you towards metaphorical life or death. He includes, like this does, the process of practice, which really developed out of Aristotle's idea of habituation. He even goes so far as to say that when you are in huge times of desolation (going towards death), then things that will lead you towards consolation (life) look like desolation, and vice versa. So like RPM said, in times of depression, we actually seek more depression because that's what feels good, in a way.
Does that make sense?
I'm still not sure about the false expectations thing. Just because you believe something whole heartedly does not mean that it will be yours. ;)
Something tells me if I'm asking to be stable, and dedicating all my positive energy to allowing and inviting the opportunities in my life to be successful and rewarded in something I am inclined to do...I may not be filthy rich, but I'll certainly be extremely fulfilled and probably compensated in a manner that makes me content.
Lex, I agree. It does go back to, what are you "REALLY" desiring? What are you really reaching for. And do your emotions, beliefs and energies match that? (I swear I will try not to say anything else until I finish this book)
I suppose another question is...should the word "reasonable" be placed in front of desire?
I could desire George Clooney or Gary Dourdan...is that reasonable? Are we putting ourselves in danger of limitation if we believe we DO need to place limits on ourselves?
The slope just got very slippery. LOL
I heard a great quote about hope that I just love, and it seems appropriate:
Hope is “the affirmation that there exists, beyond all data, all inventories, and all calculations, a mysterious principle [principium, source, origin, not abstract statement or formula] that is in connivance with me, that cannot but will that which I will if what I will deserves to be willed and is in fact willed with the whole of my being” - Gabriel Marcel
If that's the sort of desire that can be fulfilled by this method, I'm all for it. The desire for a car, the desire for George Clooney...these types of desires don't fit that definition very well. ;)
Yeah. That about does it. lololol. Brilliant.
"Are we putting ourselves in danger of limitation if we believe we DO need to place limits on ourselves?"
yup, you are.
"Maybe we have to clarify a bit. Not so much limit as make our definition a little more precise."
EXACTLY!
it's all about breaking your desires down to their base. that "desire" for george clooney isn't about george clooney himself... it's about whatever it is george clooney represents in your mind. same with being a "schmoo-millionaire", in the material sense.
keep in mind, the game of life is all about perception and breaking the false perceptions to get to the "meat" of existence. separating the chaff from the wheat, if you will. *wink*
Just getting around to reading this...
Before I met hubby I had some pretty bad relationships. One day I was driving to work (long commute) and thinking about this. I'd been doing the "woe is me" thing in a new town far from home. I knew there were things about all these guys that were good, that I liked, besides all the bad. So I started making a mental list of the one good thing I'd take from each to make "the perfect guy." Shortly after that I met hubby and found all of that and then some in him. I think it was because I finally really knew what I was looking for.
I don't know about spirituality or religon, but I agree with what Redzilla said - "if positive thinking works, so does negative thinking."
how did i miss this post? hmmm...
RPM...I am reading all this kind of stuff now too. let's just say, there are reasons for everything in our lives that start with our thoughts...the hard part is pulling the meaning out of all the messages we give and get. it's the inter-connectedness of my thoughts and yours that really puzzles and fascinates me. i believe Vox is very much a part of what (and how) my world is opening to possibilities and love.
Ahh...the journey of discovering who and what we are. What joy and wonder!