Daily Snark: Perfumed gym mates.

Jul 2, 2007 at 10:21 AM
14 comments

Dear Women/Men Who Wear Perfume/Cologne to the Gym:

Nothing elevates the challenge of my morning run like not being able to breathe. Last time I checked, you come to the gym to sweat and to work your body. This will require oxygen. We are there to breathe hard, not to breathe your lovely fucking aromas. It might be hard for you to believe this...but there are other people who exist in this world besides you. And we might not like trying to oxygenate through your musks and flowers.

Fucktard.

I know. I snarked excessively. It's Monday.

To you floral delights, I dedicate this track

Bush - Machinehead

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Ugh. Perfume is usually gross anyway and all too often excessive...but I really, really, really, don't want to smell it mixed with sweat.

I quit an exercise class I paid $95 for, after 3 out of 10 classes because #1 they made us use stupid props (stretchy bands, rubber balls, etc), #2, it was too claustrophobic in there for me, and #3, the dealbreaker...I went home on night and Elvis started sniffing the bottom of my pants, all like WTF? and I was all like WTF? and then I got a little closer and smelled someone else's perfume had transferred onto my pants when the stupid, goddam unwashed rubber ball was between my ankles. Disgusting. disgusting. disgusting.

[this is good]

OMG I coulnd't agree more. Can we please extend this to those same people at the mall who leave a wake of shit-stank SO THICK I'm ready to jump off the upper deck to my death just to avoid it?

And WHY are you wearing that must shit to begin with? It's almost like you have something to hide. You have a perferated colostomy bag or something? HOLY FUCK PEOPLE, a nice warm shower with some mild soap does the job nicely!!

[atropos] replied to crankypants’ comment:
Jul 2, 2007
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That's why I workout at home. You never know what people do with the equipment. I know I clean my mat. Ew!

A-freaking-men. And full make-up? WTF? At the start of every running race I run into a few girls with full hair and make-up. I don't know about them, but after jogging for 13.1 miles, I look like the excrement of a dog with digestive problems. I certainly don't expect my 'do to look good and who wants eye liner running down your face?

[this is so on point] I just left the gym where I've experienced both the cologne (cheap cologne at that!) permeating through the air and workout smiles courtesy of Clinique/Maybelline/Fashion Fair...what is the point? Especially in the morning?!!! Thankfully, the facility is immaculate and they meticulously clean the mats and seats intemittently throughout the day (the OCD in you would LOVE this place!). I honestly think NO PERFUME or MAKEUP SPREAD ON WITH A BUTTERKNIFE should be added to the list of universal gym rules...

I personally don't care about makeup, long as it ain't touchin me. It's ridiculous, but to each his own. I just get pissed when I am forced to interact with other people's stuff. Good cologne/bad cologne (it all sucks in my opinion)...just keep it out of my face when I'm running. My gym is clean...and they are even strict about some things that are dealbreakers for me. My gym has a rule about cellphones (God I love them)...I'd like them to add one about perfumes too.

Lester Sue: you are the type of athlete I long to be. Serious about your work, oblivious to the "theatrics" and posing about it. You are the embodiment of Nike's slogan. You just do it. Not pose. Cheers to you. :)

[this is good]

AMEN. I can't stand going to the gym and having to smell OPP/C. Just brush your teeth and use deodorant, that's all I ask. *sigh*

Swimming. It's the only solution.

you used "fucktard!" LOL!!! I really don't get that "getting pretty" for the gym. People go running around my neighborhood in full on make up. I'm always thinkning, "you know, you have raccoon eyes right?" but oh well...I guess, it's just in case they get discovered.

But the perfume in the gym..yeah, gross and not right at all.

sorry lady.

If I didn't have the vertigo thing, I'd be swimming at least once a week. I was a fish before the inner ear thing. It's created a real fear in me that I have to get over.

"In case they get discovered"

Whatever happened to just making sure your undies were clean, you know? LOL. If someone finds me collapsed on the curb...I could give two damns about whether or not my eyelashes were properly mascara'd.

Oh the fools.

And yes...me lurve.....fucktard. It's a nasty ugly thing to say. But sometimes...nasty ugly things are delightful.

That was about the nicest thing you could have said. Thank you.

ROFL!! OMG, fucktard?? Now that's too funny.

Daily Snark: Perfumed gym mates.

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