Eating the elephant.

The funny thing about turning corners is how you don't always realize you've turned them until you're on the next block.

Progress isn't always going to come equipped with flashing lights, flares and a warning beep. In fact, many times it is so inconspicuous that you're inclined to miss it entirely. I think that's because it happens in careful little increments. Can you imagine how overwhelmed we would be if it didn't? Little pieces shift in your life. Sometimes big pieces shift. Many times the only choice we have, is choosing how we opt to handle or embrace the adversity. That's where you can mark your progress, once you've stopped to actually notice it.

My life looks so completely different from how I thought it would look when I daydreamed about it 15 or so years ago. I am not "happily married" and working on child number whatever. But then...I'm not sure that dream ever really felt tangible to me. I'm also not a sports journalist interviewing professional basketball players in the midst of the playoffs and living in a loft on the Upper East Side. I'm not a perfect size 8 after totally transforming myself from a chubby teen to a super model.

My point is...all the things I thought would matter so much to me...simply don't. Sure, I'd like to have a mate. I would love to have a child. But I realize I don't want those things at the cost of my own preparedness. The need to be "happily married" became the need to truly have a life partner that sees me, embraces me, loves me and challenges me. The need to have children became the need to understand what nurturing is and isn't.The need to become a sports journalist became the need the find effective, creative and meaningful ways to communicate - artistically, spiritually, literally. The need to be a perfect size 8...became the need to see myself and love myself in all shapes and sizes.The need to be what other people would deem as successful became my personal quest to identify my personal happiness.

I couldn't have handled the twists and turns of today, ten years ago. At the ripe old age of 26, I was convinced I had a handle on who I was. Crisis would have hit and I would have folded under the weight of my own panic. That's not to say I wouldn't have recovered eventually...but I am acknowledging for a brief moment, the things I finally seem to truly understand:

• Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. It is also one of the hardest things to do.
• There is nothing to be gained in suppressing your truest self. Ever. Progress comes from total freedom.
• Let the current carry you. Fighting only makes bigger waves carrying the things you seek further from you.
• The first thing isn't always the best thing.

Better to eat the elephant in small, measured bites.

Now it seems, we're really getting somewhere.