God, I'll need you to make a down payment.
The problem with having faith is, we often wait for the physical verification of something before we allow ourselves to completely believe that a thing is possible. We chronically put that cart before the horse.
"Dear God, if you'll just give me a sign...I'll believe I can get this done."
"Buddha...if you'll just show me a glimpse of this dream manifested...I'll believe in it more."
That's like asking for a paycheck before you've done any work. And unless you're some kind of contractor, that's rarely going to happen. And even when it does, you better make sure you deliver on the goods.
Maybe that's it. Perhaps we want to engage God/Universe like a contractor. "Listen...I'll give you what you want (faith/trust)...but you're gonna have to put something up front first."
I wonder what God would say to such a request.
Actually, I know with me...I ask fervently for clarification and insight. I pray for these things all the time. And then do you know what I do once I actually have them? I pick them apart. Analyze. Try to explain them away. Then I go back to God and ask him for something more. I'm almost embarrassed to admit how many times I've had those repetitive requests granted. And still...
I worry. Obsess. Review. Weigh. Analyze. Critique. Dwell in the past rehashing old events as if some new exciting little detail will pop out and make it all come together.
Or at least...that's what I used to do.
My commitment to myself these days is to trust. Not only myself, but in the things I do not see, but know. In the divine force I feel guides and walks with me every day in this existence. I am going to trust me, without needing a green light from God to confirm that it's alright to do so. My hope is that you can do the same, if you are so inclined.
Comments
Very deep. Very nice. Often we are given the clues, the lead ins, yet we fail to respond because of our own hesitations. How can we be sure, how can we know, what if it meant something else? Faith is just that, faith. Either you believe fully or you have yet to fully believe. Immerse yourself in life and living, the answers will be short in coming.
Beautifully rendered luv. I remember my mom telling me something about faith when I was young. She was very eloquent about it too. She said that in every season and in every kind of weather, when the water levels are surging and when the wind is howling and it seems that we are about to be tossed into the raging waters, have faith.
Regardless of whatever happens, what goes down, however things turn out, that we will not be abandoned. I remember that so vividly whenever faith is mentioned and in whatever context it is spoken in. Taking it further, God simply won't abandon us when things happen. When our friendships are scarce, and when our lives seem absent and lost, or even when we are feeling unloved... or even unlovable.
Stand fast though. We won't be abandoned. And just have faith because he is the God that created the storm. And he's the same God that gave everything on the cross. Remember what he has done and what he can do. Just have faith...
As always, leaving us lucky readers a little something to go off into our evening with. Luv ya baby! Hope all is well...
If find that it's not so much the answers I find but gradual revelation in living. You look back and realize how far you've come.
Epiphanies are far and few between and rightly so. A true epiphany can be jarring and difficult and painful. And not necessarily welcome.
Most of us don't want a true life changing experience, we want pretty lights and to "feel good."