I'm already gone...
*sigh*
I was doing great, running my errands and feeling fine, a sunny day after nearly a week of rain in Austin. Floating along...and I hit a musical pothole. The haunting song (or cd) that I meant to take out of the cd changer during my travels, reappeared with arrogant vengeance.
Don't you love the songs that the moment you hear them, take you back to a very specific event, conversation...turning point? And instantly, you are back in the space to feel it all over again. I don't remember the drive home from the mall. I could do it in my sleep anyway. Physically, I was behind the wheel. Mentally I was sitting on a couch reliving the conversation I figured would be the last meaningful one...perhaps for a lifetime.
I hate when I'm right about things like that.
I am stunned that I am in this place. I am in awe that our lives aren't interwoven in an impossible to decipher design. I cannot believe I am in the same area code and we have become awkward strangers who avoid speaking because even we can't rationally explain why we aren't together. More than any of this, I cannot believe I'm alright with such a big piece of me...gone. Who knew? Not me, I tell you that.
...and this is my gameface...
The Fray - "Vienna"
The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in
We smile for the casual closure capturing
There goes the downpour
There goes my fare thee well
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone
There's so many words that we can say
Spoken upon long-distance melody
This is my hello
This is my goodness
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone
Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again
Straighten this whole thing out
Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy
But this is the distance
And this is my gameface
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
Is there really no way to reach me?
Am I already gone?
So this is your maverick
And this is Vienna
Comments
I hate it when a song or a memory runs me down, like an out of control train, when I'm least expecting it. Just when you think things are going well, and you're coping, and there's light at the end of the tunnel... yeah. Been there, done it many times.
I hope you're feeling better soon.
This always happens to me when I get to listening to a certain song from Coldplay. It takes me back to memories that at times I really do NOT want to remember. It's like, out of nowhere you get that sharp pang in your heart. Sometimes certain songs do take you to good memories, now those are the ones that I don't mind listening to. :D
This was a beautiful song though....even in it's sadness.
I'm feelin' low atm too, sistah, so let's sit around with a pint of ice cream and bitch. *hugs*
You made me smile. Thank you.
this can go either way for me. sometimes a song will take me to a really wonderful place, but then sometimes some song will just make me unbearably wistful and sad.
i'm sitting here with vanilla icey cream and magic shell, in my wonderful robe, watching The Black Dahlia. it's... weird.
It's funny how life turns on a dime, and the unexpected is our reality and we wonder how we hell we got here.
It ain't easy...but it's real.
@RPM:
I am in awe that our lives aren't interwoven in an impossible to decipher design. I cannot believe I am in the same area code and we have become awkward strangers who avoid speaking because even we can't rationally explain why we aren't together.
It's always sad when emotional distance is mingled with physical proximity. You know you have a booster here.