It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

...but last night was a bitch.

The past two days have been glorious in Austin. Brilliant sunny skies, warmth without an ounce of humidity. I've finally found a great way to invest myself in a community driven effort, it marries my marketing and writing passions with two things I also love: kids and clay. The perfect opportunity came to me, as perfect opportunities often do.

And then something weird happened. I got in the truck, headed back on the highway with sunshine warming my face, and I actually paid attention to what was playing on the radio. Do not play sad songs when you're infinitely happy. By the time I arrived home, there was that familiar malaise coating the happiness welling in my belly. By late afternoon, it ate away most of my morning bliss and left me clawing for some sort of action I could find to overtake it and reclaim my contentment.

Something about last night was a little different. I sat in the midst of that gloom and the accompanying sensation that I must do...something to relieve it. As I pondered all the varying actions I could take to...resolve, clarify, get additional information... I remembered a saying.

"When you don't know what to do. Do nothing."

That used to kill me. How in the world, am I supposed to do nothing when every impulse in me screams, anything but this sensation, please. And that reminds me of another saying.

"Sit with it."

And so I sat with the feelings. I did nothing. I took no major action to try and shift events in my world in another direction. I sat with that feeling of dread until I realized that in the past, taking some impressive counter action to thwart the bad feelings only worked to create bigger messes. Any action I have ever taken that was fueled by panic or an excess of fear/anger has not sometimes, but always been an action I have later regretted.

And then I remembered the perfect community activity that fell into my lap. I recalled the perfect job opportunity that fell into my lap. And I remembered that I actually need to do very little for things to sort themselves out. I just have to, get out of my own way. I've said that before in different ways. And I guess I'll keep saying it to myself every time I forget.

Let things come to you. The more you grasp and claw and fight and clamor...the more the things you want squiggle right out of your hands. Yes, I said squiggle. It's not fuckery, but work with me. I'm trying to sustain a good mood.

Wherever this day takes you, I hope it's a good journey.