Know your role. (And shut your mouth)
I had an a-ha moment today. Well, perhaps not an a-ha moment. It was more of a "something you already quietly knew but could benefit from a subtle reminder" moment.
The Rock, back in his days as a wrestler in the WWF, had a saying that used to always make my sister and I crack up: know your role and shut your mouth. (Go ahead and watch the video for a trip down memory lane. For those who have not been momentarily amused by the train wreck that has been professional wrestling, I apologize.) Today that phrase popped up in my mind when I started thinking about the kind of position I have had in my life within my family and in some of my relationships. It specifically popped up when I felt my lips preparing to form a complaint about my duty as the family arbitrator.
There are some things in this life, you were simply put here to do. Each of us, I believe, has a number of spiritual assignments designed to help us learn. We each have a sort of spiritual label. Some are healers. Some are innovators. Some are teachers. Some are historians. Some are explorers. Some are instigators. And sometimes, we were born to wear more than one hat.
But that's not what I learned. That's not what I was reminded of.
The point is, within our world, we each have a role...and that person is the person you were born to be. Moreover, trying to be anyone but the person you were born to be almost winds up being a wasted effort. Like the tide, your true self will only keep pulling you back. Today I was reminded that resistance is futile. (shout out to Borgs) To resist your natural gifts, or spiritual talent is to create a lot of personal distress. To resist what you have been called to do, to resist taking a role that rests within you from the moment you take your first breath makes for a very long, and sometimes very painful journey. And the catch is...you're usually disinclined to accept the role when you get your first taste of the assignment.
I didn't want to heal anyone. Not because I like to see people ache, but because I've never really been sure that I had the ability to actually be effective at it. I didn't want to create bigger messes. I didn't want to give advice that I couldn't take. I didn't want the responsibility of someone else's choices. I wanted to choose when I would be strong. I never wanted the expectation that I could never be anything else.
Despite all that, for as long as I can remember...I have been a keystone of sorts. Listening to problems, offering solutions, being a sounding board, a shoulder or an ambassador of good faith. It hasn't been until this year however, that I've really come to terms with what that means. This role is a life time position with a grandfather clause. I'm born into it, and it's not going anywhere. But it's not been wholly for the good of others. It's largely been for the good of me. Each time someone in the circle comes to me with an issue, I learn something. About myself. About how others perceive me. About the myriad of ways we all can see the world. There is a gift in that. Healers learn not only from their own choices, but from the choices of those around them who seek their guidance. Healers learn not by talking, but by listening. Not by judging, but by practicing empathy. Healers are healed by what they give to others. Each burden that someone decides to share with me, is my own opportunity to challenge myself regarding what I believe and what I do versus what I have actually done.
It's not a job I ever wanted within my family. But now, after all this time and all these years, I am beginning to appreciate the subtle messages the gift of healing gives to me. And acceptance, opens the door to a host of other lessons.
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