<crush>

And so he comes to me at a point in my life where I've lost my faith in man.

I suppose that's always the way it goes.

It's an unusual feeling for me, this crush. It seems to have come nearly made to order, after I created my wish list a few months ago. So made to order, I almost have to laugh. Some things are different, but I am getting the larger point in my unspoken request.

I feel no sense of fear or uneasiness. His voice is like my grandfather's easy chair. I climb into it...into him as we trade stories about where we've been from then...to now. We don't pretend it's anything more than it is. He's too wise to rush, I'm too careful to delude myself. And still, these conversations go on...and on...and on until phones are dead or near dying and there's nothing left to do but playfully schedule the next session. There are pregnant pauses and chuckles that rest harmlessly in the backs of our throats. There is simplicity. There is candor offered only by one who has truly seen himself in the mirror, and is comfortable with the man looking back at him. There is the quiet confidence of someone who knows he will do everything he says, because talk without action is a tremendous waste of time.

I am long over bells and whistles. I'm too cautious for charm and games are for silly little children who want to pretend they're grown. This is too boring and dry, even to write about. And yet, I write..simply to tell you that I am smiling this evening. Feeling good about the most ordinary of things. Ordinary things I was beginning to think simply didn't apply to me anymore.

It's everything, and nothing. And that is all I could have asked for in this moment.

Consider my faith...restored. In many things, but most importantly, in me.