QotD: Taking A Leap
What's a leap of faith to you? Have you ever taken one?
I love this question. Absolutely love it.
I believe a leap of faith is an action or step you take having no notion of what's to happen next. It is born of a quiet knowing, simmering somewhere deep within you. It begins as a quiet voice whispering a suggestion. You can't ignore it, or it will simply grow louder and louder until it washes out the sound of any thought you can come up with to object to its absurd suggestion. There is no net, no practice and no real preparation. It is not calculated and couldn't be, because you have no idea which way the road is going to turn as you walk on the path - and something about that drives you on. It's a midnight walk with your eyes blind and the belief that you are going to be fine, if not better, for it.
Yes, I took one. Two huge ones in the last three years. With little information (and little encouragement), I decided rather abruptly to move to Austin, Texas from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I made the bold choice to pack up and move away from all things familiar to start a new job and begin a new life in a town where I knew only one person. I hunted for the right job, which at the time was simply one that would pay me what I wanted to be paid and would allow me to work from my new location. I found the job, got the job and began searching for apartments over the internet. In 6 weeks, I managed a new job, a new residence and a new life. I packed up and ignored the nagging in the back of my mind that warned I was walking into certain darkness. I looked my family in the eyes, all of them sad and concerned for me...and I left.
I drove 32 hours with my Dad, down through southern states and across the country until we hit Texarkana and made our way down to Austin by way of Dallas and I-35. I was following a burning fire in my heart that no one could understand. Running from the drowning monotony of my existence in Philly where I felt like I was dying a bit everyday, to what I thought would be the open arms of love, of freedom and a restart on a stale life.
It was a restart. In more ways then I could ever convey in this post. I learned that leaps of faith never promise happy endings...but they do guarentee an amazing learning and growth curve if you're up for it. Sometimes it works out as you dreamt, most times it turns out even better than you could have ever imagined...but you must have the endurance to keep walking that path even when the night descends, the cold creeps in, you find a turn you really don't want to take and you see hints of evil eyes reflecting back at you in the trees. Leaps of faith are rarely easy...but they are always worth it. At least in my opinion.
My second leap of faith, is the one I find myself in right now. I'm walking in absolute darkness, my fingertips grazing rough, uneven walls, following that voice of intuition that tells me this is the direction I must move. It hurts like a mother most days, at least for an hour or two...but I can't turn back. I have no map, just the tiny crystals of evidence left behind in conversation and quiet meditation. I am moving through darkness. I am tasting the clarity of saline tears. I am calm in response to the pain of sharp objects piercing my feet; I know the wounds will heal. I am oblivious to the creatures I hear rustling and scurrying around me because I know I am safe. I smile with the pain because something even bigger than it's empty hollows whispers that all of this...each and every thing had to happen...to bring me to the light.
My most recent leap of faith is in the belief that this is not the end of me...but the beginning.
Comments
"miscalculated stupidity"...this gave me a fresh perspective.
Yep, I agree too. Kind of like Patty's header..."Not Knowing and Trusting simultaneously". I sort of did that when I moved to Texas many years ago, but I was moving with a job, I had felt the stagnation of my life & really wanted to move. My good friend was talking about moving to Boston & I was liking that idea but was scared about not having a job (I was 21 and no college, and not much work exp) but it sounded great. Then my uncle, who I was working for, announced he took a job in Houston so I went with. I had family & a job down there, so it wasn't much of a big risk, and I only stayed a year & a half, and I didn't enjoy myself much of the time...but I always say, any experience is a good experience if it's different than your norm and you learn something from it.
And best of luck (or whatever) on your current leap.
It is rooted in an inner stirring that is moving us towards (or away from) something with an urgency that cannot be overlooked. It is a spiritual move - regardless of how you define or identify with spirituality. It is courage that allows us to listen to that voice and move with it.
Quiet Life: Inner stirring. You called it, sister. You can't ignore it, only delay it. I'm learning to lean with the wind now, to avoid a break. I think that's what the last leap of faith taught me. What a gift.
Fave: An event, or situation is only stupid when you fail to extract anything meaningful from it. Just a belief of mine...
Crankypants: Cheers! You and I know luck won't have a thing to do with it. :))
Not knowing and trusting simultaneously....it's a good motto for even the little "leaps of faith" it takes to be happy most days.
Good post....as always.
It's so nice to follow the journey that you're sharing here.
Sometimes you just need to make a change in your life, deal with the fallout, and reap the benefits. Yes, there are benefits, even if life goes to shit for a while. I'm feeling really lost in my life lately and am also groping around in the dark, trusting that everything will fall into place.
You know, I like your attitude about this, and most things actually. There's something to be said for patience, and letting everything sort itself out. I spent so much of my life, getting in my own way. I'm trying to stand clear and just let it happen.
Wow..you nailed that line. That's exactly how I felt when I moved from OH to VA when I was 23 years old.
I've said it before but I'll say it again. You are a truly gifted writer. This was just beautiful. Thanks.
As for leaps of faith themselves... I've done that pick up and move, new job, new town, new people thing (Canada to the US)... in the end it wasn't the right place for me to be... but it was definitely the right experience for me. I needed to trust in myself that I could do something that drastic, cut the apron strings so to speak of my family and comfort zone. It was exhilarating!
You know, when I think about it though, everyday is a leap of faith... we have no idea what will be thrown at us on a day to day basis... we live under the assumption that everything will be the same old same old, run of the mill day... but in truth, there are so many factors beyond our control that can impact our lives on a daily basis, that I think getting out of bed in the morning is a leap of faith! But I'm a bit nuts... so take it as you will :)
Welllllll.. it's 12am now, midnight and I still can't quite express it, ha! So you'll just have to settle for this sub-awesome(TM) response.
Actually, the concept that every day itself is a leap of faith, since you've put it into words, seems like gospel to me. It really makes me think of how many times I've gone to bed expecting one thing only to wake up and find something completely different is waiting for me.
Ooookay, bed time!
and this is an amazing post - the first part where you move yourself across the county - the second as you move yourself across emotion. Your words move me so. They move us all.... :::hugs::::