Scared of death? No. The SS Admin office? Possibly.

Why is it that the two places you can most easily find the dregs of the universe are in the Social Security Administration Office, and the Department of Motor Vehicles?

Nevermind. Don't answer that.

I went to the SSA office this morning to replace my lost social security card and let me tell you...after that experience, I think it's a good plan to keep it in a titanium box somewhere extremely secure and away from my forgetful fingers. I went in at 10am, to what is I believe the ONLY SSA location in the city of Austin. I took a number. My number was 73. They were currently serving number 38.

I waited in the main waiting area.

I waited outside the building.

I waited in my car.

I waited at the Starbucks about 8 minutes away.

Two hours later, I sat in booth number 3 after tripping over the feet of a man who had his legs stretched the length of the aisle. I apologized over my shoulder and he glared at me. So sorry I failed to see your gun boats stretched across the aisle, Mr. Assclown. Perchance you might like to...I dunno...keep them on one side of the office?

I sat in the chair at booth number 3, and in less than 5 minutes, my transaction was complete.

I imagine the armed security is in there for people who wait three hours only to find out they didn't bring the appropriate identification. Thankfully, I was not one of them.