Want your blog not to suck? Here's five steps to avoid initial fuckery.
1. If you have to spend at least three days a week explaining in great detail why you are smart, clever, talented, sexy or in some way more or less fabulous than someone else? You are probably not all that smart, clever, talented or fabulous. You are probably just wildly insecure.
2. If you have to spend at least one day a week aggressively picking apart someone else's post or lighting up their comments with all sort of remarks to keep a fire blazing, you probably need to get some additional hobbies...or get laid. Or both. Simultaneously.
3. I like snark as much as the next blogger...but if you can't seem to make your way through any post without it...perhaps you might want to give yourself a big old hug. Or else, I can give you a big old slap. Just let me know.
4. If you can't express your thoughts, feelings, impressions or opinions without making someone else feel shitty about theirs...your argument loses immediate credibility. And you become an asshole. Assholes make an impression, but rarely a lasting one - so try on a suit that offers more "room to grow."
5. If you use big flashy words or want to convey a lofty thought, be sure you even know what it means before you try to wow the masses with it. Study more, pontificate less.
I find myself singing this little number when I've got monkey chatter going on in my brain. Actually, let me not lie. It's the underlying soundtrack to most of my days. I smile and feign interest in general conversations with people that I know better than they will ever know me.
Behind my eyes is a whirl of activity that may have something to do with something I sense about them...or something I feel just in sharing space with them. Sometimes I'm able to break through it and pay strict attention. I'm ashamed to say quite often I am not. There's always another story in the works for me.
Today is another one of those days where most of the activities I've had to participate in, don't have anything to do with where I am. I spent an hour on the phone with someone, and couldn't tell you what we discussed, or if there's anything that's supposed to happen as a result of it.
At least I can do this without obviously offending anyone. Or...perhaps I'm just not paying attention enough to not notice that I have.
eeesh...
Audio: Share a song you could listen to all day on repeat.
I have too many to list just one, but this morning...this is the song I could play fifty hunnert eleventy times...
You gotta give for what ya take. M'kay?
Addendum...while working, I heard this...and recalled...this one is also on that heavy repeat list.
Something is seriously wrong with him. For wearing those glasses and crying about Romo.
I got tagged by Barry. And the slaps shall rain from the heavens like...like...like...copious amounts of...rain.
Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 different people.
"Going back to the past as yourself is not an option. But when you return as a changed person to their world, you get to stay there, grow up as one of them, live as one of them, more or less, grow old as time allows, and you'll do that yet, when your turn comes."
"My turn?"
And Jason, I'm only about 20 pages from finishing. Will need to discuss.
Still one of my favorite albums of that period. It's the anthem of my week(end) as well.
I love mornings when I read something in my inbox and have an a-ha moment when reading something. I firmly believe there's a message in each day if you're open to it. I know myself, and some others, can sometimes be in a rush to sweep in when someone expresses a hurt, an issue or a perceived need. I personally get frustrated when what I want is to vent, or release a feeling and before I can even finish releasing the feelings from my body, someone is giving me: a) an action plan I didn't request, b) advice I didn't solicit or c) correction I'm not even sure I need.
For me at least...when I start to express a feeling, more than anything I am desperately trying to release something I've been sitting on. I probably already know the solution (and it may not necessarily be the one you're providing). I know what my remedy is, or I least know the proper channels to finding it. All of us, many of us...when we talk...we don't want to be advised, or fixed. We just want to be heard.
I say that and chuckle, because just as I say that...I can think of many situations and relationships in my life where I did exactly the opposite.
From today's DailyOm:
"For a simple start, try sitting with a friend and asking him to tell you about his life at this moment. For 10 minutes or more, try to listen without responding verbally, offering suggestions, or brainstorming solutions. Instead, breathe into your heart and your belly, listening and feeling instead of thinking. When you do this, you may find that it’s much more difficult to offer advice and much easier to identify with the feelings your friend is sharing. You may also find that your friend opens up more, goes deeper, and feels he has really been heard. If you also feel great warmth and compassion, almost as if you are seeing your friend for the first time, then you will know that you have begun to tap the power of listening with your heart." - Inner Hierarchy: Listening With Your Heart. DailyOm, January 11th.
I know for me, the next time I feel myself muting someone by hastily going in to "fix" what's broken...I'm going to remember this. Perhaps I'll find a way to say this to others when I feel it being done (innocently) to me. Hope you can find a use for it too, if you need it.
Happy Friday my friends!
Remember Forest Gump and his..."life is like a box of chocolates?" Nothing like blending theory with confection.
Lawyer (the artist formerly known as my Crush) likes ice cream. No, actually...he adores ice cream. To the extent that if I was dangling off a cliff beside a pint of Haagen Dazs, he'd save me...but he'd have a tear in his eye. In the world of sweets, rarely will you find a dessert that offers so much variety. There's a host of different ways you can experience it, so many different flavors that can offer a unique twist.
I suspect life and thoughts can work the same way. In my mind there is a Baskin-Robbins, offering a lovely (and not so lovely) assortment of flavors. What do I have a taste for? What do I want my ice cream experience to be like? I think I (and others) sometimes forget that just as we can choose a flavor in our ice cream, so can we in our own life experiences. I happen to know that I dislike pecans. So, I choose to avoid the experience of them. Imagine if I did the same thing with pessimistic thoughts, or unwanted fears? Imagine if, I just moved right by that, to the Pistachio Almond? I'm paying for this experience, aren't I? Why shouldn't I pick and choose the flavors that make it enjoyable?
Every day, we're walking into the ice cream shop. 31 flavors. From the minute we step our feet on the floor, we are making a choice. What taste do I want to experience today? Poor self-esteem, lack of self worth, anger, jealousy, resentment...they don't go so well with fudge sauce and cherries. They do nothing to enhance my experience. So why not move past them, to something that tastes so much sweeter? It's our ice cream shop, this life. At least, that's what I'm telling myself these days.
If I view life in this respect, suddenly the choices seem much more attainable...almost easy. There is no phantom hanging over my head, controlling my experience. There is just me. There is no one with the ability to shove spoonfuls of butter pecan down my throat, like it or not. I can wave it away, and opt for something else. Just like that. And I can keep waving it away. Just like that. And...something tells me, practice makes perfect.
Maybe even one day, I'll be able to walk into my own personal ice cream shop...where the only flavors offered (ribbed for my pleasure, of course), are the ones of my choosing.
What flavor are you experiencing in your life, today?
- Mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step; for lasting passion is the dream of a harlot and from it we wake in despair. -- C.S. Lewis, 'The Pilgrim's Regress'
Okay, it might not be cute, but I say it counts toward my Mecca photo quota offered in my original promises to you.
