5 posts tagged “bjork”
Just saw the video for this song, one of my favorite Bjork songs...thanks to me Geebie San.
Not for the faint...of anything. If you're a bit squeamy...just read the lyrics and avoid the rest. Amazing song, amazing lyrcis, amazing emotion. Definitely one of my all time favorites of hers. This time, I'm going to keep it to myself...indeed.
"Pagan Poetry"
Pedalling through
The dark currents
I find
An accurate copy
A blueprint
Of the pleasure
In me
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
A secret code carved
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
A secret code carved
He offers
A handshake
Crooked
Five fingers
They form a pattern
Yet to be matched
On the surface simplicity
But the darkest pit in me
It's pagan poetry
Pagan poetry
Morsecoding signals (signals)
They pulsate (wake me up) and wake me up
(pulsate) from my hibernating
On the surface simplicity
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
But the darkest pit in me
It's pagan poetry
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
Pagan poetry
Swirling black lilies totally ripe
I love him, I love him
I love him, I love him
I love him, I love him
I love him, I love him
She loves him, she loves him
This time
She loves him, she loves him
I'm gonna keep it to myself
She loves him, she loves him
She loves him, she loves him
This time
I'm gonna keep me all to myself
She loves him, she loves him
And he makes me want to hurt myself again
She loves him, she loves him
She loves him, she loves him
And he makes me want to hand myself over
The answer is a resounding, YES.
Asked what's the best thing about the single life, Barrymore, 31, told PEOPLE at Wednesday's Hollywood premiere of her new romantic comedy Music and Lyrics: "Just look at my face – I can't stop smiling!"
So it isn't scary at all? "No! I'm very happy."
Barrymore, who recently split with Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, continued, "I think it's important to give someone your heart and trust them and not be cynical. At the same time, I think being independent and strong and happy on your own and by yourself, it's probably what will make you a better lover.
- Drew Barrymore Says She's Loving Single Life, AOL Entertainment News
There are two crowds gathering this week, those who will be celebrating Valentine's Day in the typical manner and then those who either mock it or find ways to beat it to death, kick it in the ass or ignore it entirely. Then there might be that not so noisy, third group...slipping quietly between the pro and con.
There is no getting around it. I've seen enough pink and red this month to last a year or more. Each tribute by way of card, gift, commercial or event designed to squeeze another extra few quarters and nickels and dimes from our pockets and force us into acknowledging a holiday or being shamed into solitude for being brazen enough to dismiss it. For relationships, it seems the tension about what to do, how to make it somehow unique from what others are doing and somehow significant seems to be far more important then ensuring that you're actually expressing a true emotion that you're currently feeling. With the "other" l-word in overdrive this week...what are you supposed to do if you're actually idling comfortably in "like" with no urgency to drive faster or slower?
Are you any more or less romantic based on the actions you take on the 14th of February? Does the activity on that specific occasion matter any more or less than your deeds and sincere thoughts on any other day? Does your ability to "outwit, outlast and outplay" (thanks Survivor for the basic rules of existence made marketable) your fellow man or woman truly make you the most suitable candidate for the title of "Valentine's Day Achiever?" Sure most of us will smirk and say, "of course not." But underneath that polished exterior of the correct sayings and logical interpretations of what the day is and isn't...are we truly convinced?
Many of us make Valentine's Day a measure of worth, no matter how we rationalize otherwise. We either run around openly shooting arrows into the air, or grumbling and sniping at invisible cupids from dark, dank bunkers. But no matter which angle we overtly or subconsciously subscribe to - we're feeling something. A fear that we're not loved, or worse...lovable. A panic that we will cease to be relevant if we lose the love we believe we have today. An anger that somehow, the love we have isn't the love we wanted. I say take all of those weathered, beaten and mangled ideaologies and burn them in the nearest pyre - because none of that matters. And it's only true as you make it. Love, your self on February 14th, with as much passion and commitment as you can possibly manifest and watch those monsters vaporize before your eyes.
I am single this February 14th. But I don't dread this February 14th at all. On that morning, I won't wake up to breakfast in bed, or surprised by roses at the door...but I won't secretly loathe anyone who is. Have fun with it and enjoy it however you see fit, I say. My Valentine is my very life and all of the true, sincere, giving, strong, wise, courageous, insightful and beautiful interactions I experience with you. Yes, you. As Bjork would say..."all is full of love." And I mean to experience every drop. Not just when cupid says, but every day.
After cleaning the house from top to bottom (Neat Nazi), dodging hellacious Happy New Year gunfire (done with typical Texas zeal) and getting submerged in espionage until the wee wee hours of the morning....I decided to roll into my little playlist, a random shuffle to see what songs pop up as an indicator of the year in store.
Here's the first ten tracks...
1. The Never That You'll Never Know. Mint Condition.
Chorus:
The only never that's for sure
Is the never that you never know
It's crazy just how love can go
With the never that you never know
2. Take Time, Slow Down. John Forte
Verse 2:
Took her to the beach and gave a short speech
You're running with me no need to play keeps
Woke up that morning to watch you stay asleep
It is what it is, don't make it too deep
It is what it is, it's only 8 weeks
Don't think too much of what it might be
Be sure you wanna deal with a man like me
When you're not sure of what I might be
Verse 1:
i miss you
but i haven't met you yet
so special
but it hasn't happened yet
you are gorgeous
but i haven't met you yet
i remember
but it hasn't happened yet
Verse 2:
Take a chance on the secret
That you hide for beneath your dreams
Use your wildest imagination
You just tell me what it is and I will make it be
5. Revolution. Arrested Development
Bridge:
I said, are you doing as much
As you can for their struggle (no)
Am I doing as much as
I can for their struggle (no)
6. Do You Love What You Feel. Rufus and Chaka Khan
Chorus:
Do you love what you feel
Cause I love what you do to me
Do you love what you feel
Cause I love what you do to me
7. A Life. Joshua Redman
8. Confusion. (Pump Panel Reconstruction Mix) New Order
Chorus:
You just can't believe me
When I show you what you mean to me
You just can't believe me
When I show you what you cannot see
(Editor's note: No SHIT! We sure this wasn't 2006??)
9. Sunday Mornings. Maroon 5
Verse 1:
Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you
That someday it would bring me back to you
Verse 1:
I'm just being myself
Plus I gotta be me too
Silly of me to think that
I couldn't bring myself to be you
Ah but behold there is benevolence
Behind this but don't stare though
Be careful cause I'll kill you
With kindness
That why I'm dressed quite neatly
Cause Its easy and discreetly they seek me
And when they reach me and see me
they believe me completely
I'm a real live wire I ain't lying
If its between me and you I ain't dying
I can transform, I can transform, I can transform
Without even trying wow
...So there you have it. A mish mash assembly of living. Suitable for me, eh?
For the past few weeks, I've been on heavy heavy Bjork rotation. Literally, her Homogenic album - which is one of my favorites.
If you've ever been in love (you have my condolences), then there are at least three tracks on that album that will speak to you, or the one you love(d). For me at least, that album in particular walks the history of my truest, fullest love. Ever the enigma, Bjork gives you the most unusual yet poetic lyrics you will ever experience. Many are distracted by the erractic techno meets strings in full symphonic delivery, or sometimes just the odd way in she sings/manuevers her words around it. Make no mistake about it, it is no easy listening, she makes you work to understand each and every expression she has to make. Perhaps, that is why I like her so much. That very description of her, sounds like love to me.
But this isn't a tribute to Bjork. No, this is a tribute to love. That monster. Specifically, my love. The one that never leaves me, but merey evolves as I do. I met him nearly seven years ago in the most unlikely of places. I studied him as best I could before I ever revealed myself. That's the sort of woman I was then. Hidden, behind fantasy and a love of words. I would have never expected I could charm him with anything else, so I used my words as the first and only hook. I had a crush. No expectation for more.
He heard me. From 2,500 miles away, amid his own hiding. He heard me. He took my words, and used them to weave his own tapestry. There was no arrogance in our writing. No jockeying for position or grandiose posturing. It was merely the freedom we offered each other to merely be our truest selves. He shamed himself with poor choices and previous years of departure from a civilized world. I shamed myself with excess weight and the my own solitude. We were both imprisoned emotionally. We seemed to inherantly understand what the other needed, and we offered it freely.
He was the first man to ever make me feel beautiful. Where it counts most, on the inside. He loved my sense of humor, enjoyed my long twisting emails that seemed to go on without end. He kept notes on my daydreams and encouraged me to express the things I never had been given audience to say. For each layer of myself I revealed, he did one too. And so over time, we shed layers until we reached the pulpy center. The place where all the nerves lie. Where the root of all love, pain, anger and fear reside.
all that no one sees
you see
what's inside of me
every nerve that hurts you heal
deep inside of me
- "Yoga," Homogenic
It would make sense in reotrospect that we would sabotage our evolution. It was after all, so much bigger then who we thought we were. I bloomed, he began to look at life through a wider, panoramic lens. Suddenly, there was a lot more to strive for - and we both credited each other for the growth. We thanked God for the blessing of each other. And then we began to wonder what anyone deep in the throes of total adoration would naturally wonder:
What if it doesn't work out? What if...I fuck it up?
Fundamental difference between men and women (at least most of the time) when this occurs, is what they do with the fear. Women, cling tighter. Men, work to wriggle themselves loose. Instead of trusting the sun above, we began to trust how hard the earth was below. Fear crept in. I suddenly began to wonder what would happen if he didn't find me so exotic and breathtaking anymore. He began to wonder what would happen if he wasn't able to meet the lofty goals he was creating in his mind to bring us on more "equal" footing. Like dogs, we picked up each other's scent, and that only raised the fear factor, exponentially. So I clung. And he strained to free himself.
I'm a whisper in water
Secret for you to hear
You are the one who grows distant
When I beckon you near
"Bachelorette," Homogenic
And so the elusive dance began. We would go astray, waves would crash us back together. It was always him stepping back and me wondering what went wrong. I told myself I wasn't pretty enough, sexy enough. He told me I deserved so much more than him. We'd become bipolar. Loving and intoxicated one moment, lost and lonely the next. Always unbelievable highs and crushing lows. Each time he would come back to me, the distance between us seemed larger.
Tired of the dance, I took the chance. Despite his carefully worded cautions against it, I moved to where he was. I stepped boldly into his space, and told him I had arrived. I've always been willful and stubborn that way. He wasn't ready, I would simply show him that he had to be. And that's when it all fell down.
I didn't want to exist in ambiguity anymore. It seemed, ambiguity was all he could offer. The more I pushed, the higher his wall became. I tried to squeeze my way through the bricks until he finally exclaimed,
"I can't give you what you want!"
He yelled. It was the first time he had ever raised his voice to me. It wasn't in anger. It was out of exhaustion. I had not been hearing him. Suddenly, I reflected on all the quiet ways he had tried to make me see. How many times he told me not to wait on him. To live my life. All the ways he asked me what it was I loved about him. He had never been sure of exactly what we were doing. And so I did what he asked me to do. I let go. I had to find my path, and walk it without him holding my hand.
Well I've got plenty
You're the one who's missing out
But you won't notice
'Til after five years
If you'll live that long
You'll wake up
All loveless.
"Five Years," Homogenic
What a metamorphosis solitude can bring. I was learning to love myself, without the mirror of his affirmation. I had to go through long endless nights of tears that promised never to stop. I went through spins, both figuratively and literally. I filled a journal in a years time. I met others, let them into my life as far as I could and learned to be the source of my own love.
For each man that crossed my path, I learned something new about myself. Something new. Something different. Ironically, each man gave me something new to love about "him." And so with each date, each dance, in my mind I would always land or nestle myself somewhere deep in memories of the love we had always shared. It hadn't gone anywhere. It lay dormant.
while you are away
my heart comes undone
slowly unravels
in a ball of yarn
the devil collects it
with a grin
our love
in a ball of yarn
"Unravel," Homogenic
I still loved him. And In his interactions with me, though distant - I knew he loved me too. And that no matter what the futures offers, will ever change. And so it comes around again. Because it never dies, it evolves.
There is something different in our interactions these days. There is something soft in his voice. Something assured and quiet. I don't rush in to try and sort out what it is for him. I don't try and fix whatever it was that was broken (if anything "broken" to begin with). Is he as beautiful to me now, as he ever was? Most assuredly. But I have taken him from his pedastal, with the understanding that we are all human. We are all carrying fears, experiences and thoughts that require we work things out the very best we can. And even when you are not loved in the way you thought you should be, you are still loved nonetheless.
I don't know what our future holds. But I do know that the love he offers me now, comes without hesitation...probably because it's not pulled from him. I do know now, that I am that warm, loving woman with the great sense of humor and pretty smile - whether he is with me, or not. We make each other laugh again, without awkward pauses or holding of breath. Our hugs are not full of fear or tension, but warm expressions of, "Hey, I really...miss. You." I've taken the training wheels off my bike, and I'm learning to enjoy the wind in my hair. He's put to rest the fears of perceived expectations, and is simply building his life according to what he wants, not what he feels he's required to do.
We're both respecting each other in a completely different sense. So no matter, all is full of love.
you'll be given love
you'll be taken care of
you'll be given love
you have to trust it
maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours
maybe not from the directions
you are staring at
trust your head around
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you
"All is Full of Love," Homogenic
