1 post tagged “boundaries and guidelines for communication”
Twitter has become a regular part of my life, casually glancing off to the bar on the left and seeing what my pals in the internet world are doing throughout the course of their day. Using this sort of social media is not at all unlike instant messaging in that your experience can be made joyous or annoying depending on the company you keep, and how you plan to use the tool.
Like Facebook, like the "Space I do not speak of" and a variety of other toys, monitoring your privacy is the chief concern...the second easily for me becomes keeping my friend list manageable and meaningful. This means, if I haven't met you virtually or otherwise by reading your work or interacting with you somewhere else, I won't add you. if I don't find what you do on the internet specifically relevant to my own interests or in the range of what I find entertaining or meaningful, I won't add you. If I wouldn't be inclined to sit in a cafe and chat with you, I won't add you.
Lately I've found myself whittling again. My rule of thumb has become, if you make me audibly sigh, or roll my eyes into my head and even grimace more than five times within one week...I have to ask myself if what you bring to the social medium is in alignment with information I find humorous, enlightening, informative or just plain thought provoking. It's not a mark against the person (I say this partially tongue in cheek recalling my own personal offense to being blocked without knowing why). It's just reserving the right to experience the internet as I like. Based on my preferences.
Twitter is the perfect example of putting my internet information guidelines to the test. And by default, my living guidelines for my personal information, anywhere. Twitter used to be a space I loved for it's ability to create communities of conversation. IM in a virtual cafe. Cool. By default, you begin adding the people you normally roam about the internets with...and maybe some additional folks that might be..."on the bubble." And sometimes those "on the bubble" ones can throw your experience out of whack. I, in particular, have a thing about TMI. There are things I don't go into excessive detail about, regarding my life. Wrong or right, I like what I see, to mirror that. Is it being closed-minded, pretentious or haughty to want to guard the sanctity of my eyes and ears? After all, who am I to judge what is newsworthy and what is not? What are the "TMI guidelines?" I would imagine they vary, person to person...but I'll take a stab at telling you mine. I will use twitter as my social media example.
I won't go into intimate details about my relationships. If I am seeing someone, you may know that. Details about them, minutiae about our everyday interactions or updates on our current agreements or disagreements? That belongs exclusively to me. if I do make mention of something, I try to do so in a manner that protects the privacy of the other party. And only if might in someway share something relevant to all of us.
Obviously, I won't divulge excessive details about my career, my company, my job or other people affiliated with my company. This does not include the occasional "vent" which will and should be handled with the same reverence regarding privacy of the other party.
- Oh, and about minutiae. We all like to share it, especially when it's amusing or unusual. But every little thing done in the course of your day from the moment you wake to the moment you sleep does not constitute amusing or unusual or amusing. I have a cap on what I want to know about each and every person I've known and cared for. If you feel a need to tell me every thought that has ever manifested itself in your brain...you can expect I'm going to get bored, or annoyed, very quickly.
- It's morning. Yes. Can we just say, "goodmorning all"...and be done with it? I'm all for individualized greetings if there is something additional that needs to be said to that party...but, running down a tweet list of eighty people all saying goodmorning to each other feels a bit like the Waltons. I was raised in a family of five. That means five good mornings are my limit.
- You picking your toes and using the evidence to mortar bricks together? I'm pretty sure that qualifies. If it isn't something you'd want a lover, or coworker to know...please rest assured I didn't want to know either.
- Do you love your spouse? Think they are especially hot, sexy, smart, annoying, gifted whatever? That is great. Tell them a hundred times a day, not me.
- Do you love yourself? Think you are especially hot, sexy, smart, powerful, inspired, god-like? That is great. Tell yourself in the mirror a hundred times a day, not me.
- Wanna argue with someone? Either take it offline and actually face your conflict and the other person, or spar with them through instant messenger, or email...hell fight them in an online game room...just, don't assume I want to be the audience for your debate.
- You tweetin' 20 times an hour? Rest assured that half of what you just said (unless covering a major news story, or recounting your experience making love to an alien in a Starbucks bathroom) will be qualified as TMI.
- Shaving? Using the rest room? Farting excessively? Conducting a breast self examination? Darning a sock? If you are doing all of these things simultaneously that might be news. If not...you might be teetering into the TMI zone.
Sometimes, everyday stuff is amusing, ironic, humorous, even significant. The problem is...some of us don't understand that just because we can 'think out loud' all day long...doesn't necessarily mean we should. Give it some thought, after all...
You are what you tweet.
