1 post tagged “eagles”

I sit in mom's kitchen, pondering my existence, the passing of Gerald Ford and what exactly I should be blogging about this morning.

There's so much that could be said, and so much more I could should be silent about. Some things are better for books than blogs, right?

This was an odd holiday, no bones about it. Everyone I spoke to seemed to be experiencing some sort of malaise. A general lack of shiny elf-like magic that's media tells us we should feel. I came into the holiday fiercely determined to remain upbeat, cheerful, happy and accepting of all events that piece together a puzzle I can't see yet. I dodged the negative thoughts and energies I felt around me, convinced there is something in my nature that encourages people to complain knowing that they will receive an encouraging reply. I vowed to myself I would return only good strong energy. The sort you build sandcastles on when you're a child, confident nothing could ever come and wash it away. A blind, naive trust that the universe wants to bring you something beneficial.  There's a little kid somewhere in me that desperately wants to believe in this notion.

I missed my voxers. I'm looking forward to catching up with my neighbors. I missed this space. It's very hard to write, anything...when I return Philly. Even to journal. It's unfortunate too, as I typically experience/see/feel so many things during these sojourns. So much to say, but I remain silent. I suppose I'm waiting for the dust to settle, and to return to a place that allows me to sit quietly enough to get it out. So for any of you who are interested...some random thoughts I've been chewing on:

• James Brown passed on Christmas Day. As is typical of human nature, I must have heard 20 or so  alternative posthumus titles for his songs. Absurd little takes on his song titles. Bizarre how we mask our discomfort regarding death with humor.

• Ever noticed that somethings are so difficult to return to? Sleep from nightmare, sweet dreams in general, childhood and illusion from clarity, in particular.

• Is it foolhardy to return to Texas carrying a Philadelphia Eagles duffel bag full of presents?

• I was told by a certain someone that there's a present waiting for me when I return to Texas. And yes. For those of you who weighed in on this and this...you'll know how curious/terrified/excited/concerned I am about the prospect of this. My mantra is..."make nothing of everything." Still I wonder...why a present?