4 posts tagged “family”
Alternative titles for this post were:
Anywhere, But Here.
One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest.
or
Once Upon A Time in Austin.
Somehow...Sanity won out. Let's hope that starts a trend.
My mother as we speak is driving across the country with her husband and her brother in tow. She's moving to her new home in...Texas. You might recall I moved to Austin nearly three years ago chasing a dream and running from my own demons. I learned in this time, two invaluable lessons. Sometimes chasing dreams shifts them further away, and demons know no state lines. The remedy for both is the same. Acceptance, faith and a good dose of patience with the world and most importantly, with yourself.
Mom finds her way on this odyssey for reasons that are completely different and yet painfully similar. Chasing dreams and running from problems that will lie in wait and show up on her doorstep one morning when she goes to fetch the morning paper. I watch and wish for all good things for her, knowing I cannot chart her course anymore than she can. I know better than to believe I can control too much more than my bladder or my choices. She will inevitably find out the same. Or at least...that is my hope for her. I hope she opens her arms to the adventure. That part I know is key.
I was fiercely opposed to this at first. Her decision to move felt oppressive at best. I assumed that the shackles of being a keystone for an entire family would soon be clasped firmly around my wrists and ankles, placing limits on my choices and a pricetag on my freedom. A few loving souls had to remind me of my own emancipation. It took me decades to find my voice, and now that I've found it, I find it incredibly difficult to silence. That means more intimate connections but it also means more biting disagreements. I've always been headstrong, but now the people around me know precisely what's moving behind my eyes and within my chest. And sometimes...they don't care to know. Mom, especially.
I cannot stuff myself back into the box of obedient child. She continues to search for new ways to make me fit. Somehow...in the midst of this shoving, pulling, tugging and smashing there is a love and bind that both maddens and softens me. What drives me most crazy about my mother, I often see in myself, things I wish weren't there. My mother sees something in me she's never been able to find in herself. I think she finds that both inspiring and frightening. We attract and repel like magnets. From time to time, when we're open and not struggling so much, we manage to love the hell out of each other. Those are the moments I try to retain.
There will be good. There will be bad. The trick I suppose will be not to get too blindsided by either one, because that's the nature of evolution.
Welcome to Texas, Mom.
Love,
RPM
Show us a picture of where you used to be.
Always in my mom's kitchen - sitting in the same seat in the corner - taking it all in. Back in chilly Philly. I don't miss my town (at least not today)...but I am missing my brother, who's eyes tell more stories then his mouth ever will. Something we have in common.
*insert sigh here*
...and Mecca misses the snow...
So as you may recall, I was in Santa Clara this week for a tradeshow. I bitched about SJC for a wee bit on my first day in the area, but other than that, I had precious little time to hang out with all that is Vox. I mean to tell you, I have a serious addiction going on here. But we'll get to that in a moment.
I have some family in the San Jose area, so this tradeshow meant getting a chance to hang out with my Uncle and some cousins while prepping for the tradeshow in neighboring Santa Clara. I haven't been in that area in nearly five years, so I was eager to catch up, and one thing I love about family is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Being able to pick up precisely where you left off without a hitch is always good. My cousin A, is a serious family historian, so I got to see some old pictures of us way back when. Ever noticed how as you age, and grow more clear about who you truly are - you can see SO much more in your face as a child then just the smile, eyes and crazy outfits? That's surreal.
So what was good? A break away from all the evolution that's been available to me in Austin. My uncles' hospitality, and my cousins and their humor. The nice, neat proximity to the show, to Patty's and to all the places I needed to frequent in between. The way the clouds and the sky seems to be right at your fingertips nearly everywhere you go in the bay area.
Tradeshow wasn't highly trafficked, but it gave me the chance to meet some additional contacts that may be critical to the growth of our business. The folks at the neighboring booths were awesome, so we all passed the loads of slow time cracking jokes, exchanging schwag and business cards. Sometimes I forget while working virtually, how much I miss the comraderie of professional peers. That combined with enough leads to at least justify the expense of the event, is enough to get tagged...for me.
What was awesome? *insert cheese grin here* If you visited Patty, Deb, Ben, Laurel then you have already seen some pictures and heard about the fun. I was convinced I would get lost, be terribly tired or worse yet, required to stay at the show longer then I expected. But everything fell into place, as events destined to happen usually do...and I made it to Patty's place for some of the MOST delicious treats (Patty: I need to know the names of those cheeses, and the peppers stuffed with Feta, I forgot to get them from you!!!), awesome company and some of the cutest kitties I've ever encountered (you too Meisha, hehehe).
Awesome? Please...I can't do it justice. Patty's hospitality and frightening ability to intuit just what your mind, tummy and taste buds are searching for. Deb's ability to see through to the precious little I don't share here about what goes on beneath the surface of me - and for us to connect on it after a hug? Ben's impeccable sense of timing and an appreciation for some of those other little residuals I choose not to address out loud. (PS...there's a post coming once I've had a chance to find the appropriate words for it...but I know you guys know what I'm getting at..)
I took none of these great pictures (that you're likely already seen, lmao). Thanks to Ben and Patty and Annabelle for capturing the priceless moments. I raise my glass and look forward to many more.
But of course, before I get back to a sea of out of office emails and things to do...let me tell you about the ugly. Yes...there was ugly. It was warmer in Austin then it was in Cali. I must've brought the bad weather with me. A torrent of rain on Thursday morning killed any chance we had for good attendance on the final day of the show. We wrapped up our booth early and headed to the land of the lost airport nearly three hours early. So...you may ask what tired expositioners do at the end of a tradeshow with hours to spare in a busted up airport?
You drink. And you drink. And you drink. Until the airport feels cozy and quaint, until you believe you will turn every lead you acquired into a sale, until 3 hours turns into ten minutes to get to your departure gate. Do I need to tell you where this is headed? Three hours later, RPM is stewed on gin and tonics (why gin? I'm still trying to find the answer to this question), sitting on a full American flight back to ATX sitting beside a young mother and her rambunctious, refuses to sleep ten month old with the hardest little baby shoes I've ever seen been kicked by in my life. Armed with the sippy cup from hell finding its way to my lap, I wafted between green sleep (hello quease) and nasty eye rolls tossed in the general direction of the little darling who used me as a sippy cup rest and kickboard for a three and half hour flight. When did she fall asleep? While we waited to de-plane after landing, naturally.
I got off the plane, found the restroom...and uh...got reacquainted with the six or so gin and tonics consummed. I want to believe that's all I had. I would have further discussions with these cursed beverages once I got in the house. Mecca could barely hide her disgust. I managed to dial a friend in South Carolina who (hanceforth be referred to as K) was waiting up to know I made it home. He was very supportive as he stifled laughter very poorly. Even pickled I have to say, he has a way about him.
I think I'm gonna like him. Nothing ugly about that. But that's another story for another day.
Let's make a list. What are 20 things in your life that you're grateful for?
Inspired by wyndslash.vox.com.
20 Things I'm Grateful For:
These are not numbered in order of importance, just literally as they come to me.
1. God. He loves me enough to give me not what I want, but what I need. He stays with me when I am at my worst. He listens to me every moment of my life. He's created EVERYTHING else I am grateful for.
2. Heather Gabrielle. My sibby. The baby sister. I never thought I would appreciate the impact of sisterhood as
4. My Mom. What can I say. She makes me crazy - but at the end of it all there is not one fight she's unwilling to
5. My Dad. He's my hero. My Dad is and has always been larger than life. He was the giant on the block that everyone ran to in crisis. He was so bad back in those days, no one was more afraid of him then we were. But over time, I came to understand the method in his madness. He loves hard. Fights hard. Plays hard. He gave me a prowess
6. My friends. They know who they are. And I hope they know how their support, laughter and experiences have made me a richer, happier woman. I'm not always easy to get to know. And, I've learned to be careful about who I give that title to. They are as eclectic in their interests and characteristics as I am. If I brought them all together, you'd feel that I'm probably a little schizophrenic. But once everyone sat down and broke bread...you'd probably hear some of the most memorable, amazing conversations ever heard. I'm very proud of that.
7. Pets. If you've ever had one, then you know what a treasure they are. I don't have a child, so my dog comes closest to that. The unadulterated love, attention and tenderness and the laughter they provide, cures any ill.
8. Adversity. Yes. I'm grateful for any and all adversity I've ever experienced. Why? Because I know it is the impetus for growth. It hurts. It's frightening, it's scary..but every time you perservere through it, you are rewarded with something. Wisdom. Courage. Greater faith. Encouragement to make it through the next challenge.
9. The Ocean. It always takes my breath away when I first happen upon it after a long absence. It reminds me just hpw small we are, and how magnificent God's work truly is. It soothes me, and inspires emotion. Every time.
10. My health. It may not always be perfect, but it's perfect for what I need it to do.
11. Charlie. Why? Because he comes with lessons, experiences and his own set of challenges that help me to see
my world through a different lens. It has never been easy, but I've always felt I was supposed to know him. I knew that years before we ever met, knew his face, his hands his heart. So once we did, he was immediately familiar. With him, I've learned to see some things about me that I never realized were there. We've made some great memories, and some gigantic messes. He brought on an evolution, as much as he might not have intended to. The jury is still out on exactly why, but I know there is a gift in our knowing each other. And we can both attest that our meeting significantly changed both of our lives, So whatever God's plan is and has been...I thank Him.
12. My Boss. He's more than a boss, he's a friend. And how many people can say that? He's sincere. Doesn't apologize for who he is, but once you're a part of his professional family - there isn't one thing he wouldn't do for you. He came to me at a serious time of transition for me - and he gave me just what I needed. An opportunity to spread my wings, to assert my own vision and to heal from some of the challenges of the past. In this time of corporate squeezing, game playing and red tape...his vision comes as a welcome change.
13. Therapy. I thought I knew what I knew. Didn't know what I didnt know until I popped the lid off my pot to see what was really brewing inside. Healing comes when you open your arms to it. It's brought me closer to my family, taught me the value of acceptance...and more importantly - it's given me the tools to love and nurture me.
14. Barack Obama. Humor me. Until his emergence as the Senator-elect in Illinois, I lost faith in the future of
15. Science and Technology. Without it, we'd be so limited in every facet of life. From medical breakthroughs, to quality of life to modern conveniences to creativity - science and technology literally gives us the world. It like anything else can be abused, but without it, we'd still be in the dark.
16. Mildred D. Taylor. Books were my escape. What I couldn't do in life, I could always do in a book. There are hundreds of authors who have touched my life. Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Pearl Cleage, Richard Wright, Ngugi wa Thiongo and volumes more. But it was Mildred D. Taylor that cemented my passion. "Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry" gave me character development I had never encountered before. "Let the Circle Be Unbroken" gave me permission to lose myself in the pages of a tale. I would close the books as a child and it would take me hours sometimes, to come back to myself. And I knew then, I wanted to be able to weave that same magic for anyone curious enough to read my stuff. She inspired me.
17. Music. For every story, there simply must be a song. My parents gave me a broad appreciation of music. The Stones, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Miles Davis, The Monkees, Ella Fitzgerald, The Doors, Mozart. My parents listened to everything. To this day, my brother, sister and I can astound (and sometimes frighten) people with what we'll listen to. Our respective collections are so eclectic, it's impossible to fit any of them into one category. Music makes every story of our lives richer. It inspires. It's one of the greatest gifts God could ever give us.
18. Philadelphia Museum of Art. My own personal tie to my home city, Philadelphia. Designed by my great-grandfather, Julian Francis Abele, the Philly Museum of Art is a testament to my own heritage a legacy that overwhelms and fascinates me. The amazing creativity of a trend setting African American architect ahead of his time. To see something that impressive, that historic, that beautiful housing some of the worlds most amazing works of art...I still struggle to find words for what that feels like. I get goosebumps every time I come within a mile of it.
19. Love. Without it, non of us would be here.
20. This exercise. It reminds me of everything that is good. And during times like this - it's necessary.
