4 posts tagged “travel”
It's only fitting that I do these now as I'm back on the road again, effective tomorrow. Back to San Antonio. I will not slander the town anymore, because I can be a bit obnoxious and I know it.
Anyhoo...my random thoughts.
1. Dear NFL: If you're going to pack up two teams and ship them to England for a football game, can you at least pick two teams that are hot and fun to watch? Don't get me wrong...the Giants are fun for me to watch, but that's largely because of the perverse longing I feel for Michael Strahan. The Miami Dolphins? Miami doesn't even watch the Dolphins...why punish England?
2. Dear Austin, TX: I kid about the whole United States of Texas thing, but now I'm starting to wonder. How is it that I put on the Austin 8 all day news channel, or the nightly news...and never hear one lick of news that doesn't somehow link back to our town? I mean, I'm glad to hear that Great Granny Clara just ate her hundredth popsicle...but I'm kinda thinking you might wanna broaden your range a bit.
3. Speaking of broadening...A friend of mine was lamenting about some frustrations he's having with a...shall we say...cranially-challenged lover. In exasperation, he says to her today that she needs to consider broadening her palette regarding a project she's working on. When she stares blankly at him, he goes, "Palette, you know what I mean, right?" He says she answers...
(wait for it)
"Pontius Palette, he's the one that killed Jesus Christ."
I know he made it up...but daaaaamn, I nearly peed my pants on that one.
4. For those of you that are my tweeps, you may have noticed a ridiculously high preoccupation with "candeh" last week. I never indulged. And I still have not. I've just decided to stop torturing you with it.
5. There are two days left to this horrid mercury retrograde we're experiencing. It is painful, all sorts of people slipping, falling, panicking, having mechanical issues and general fuckery. I think someone should banish merc retros and send them packing. I just do not want. I'm high strung enough...I need no celestial intervention.
6. So my livingroom tank and bedroom tank are both thriving now that I've gotten my novice experience under my belt. The bedroom tank has 4 tiger barbs, 2 albino tiger barbs, 2 green barbs and 2 blue gourami. What a fun tank that one is to watch during evenings of insomnia. The livingroom tank may have a problem. I have three albino tin foil barbs in there. Red eyes, silvery reflective body, cool fish. But um...they are growing. And...apparently after I did my research...I gasped. Audibly. These lil darlings? Can grow to be eight inches (which would explain why it seems they've grown an inch in the past month). I may have to take them back, because 24 inches of fish in a 20 gallon tank might qualify as fish cruelty. Not to mention there are three tiger barbs that are looking like they might be a little nervous.
7. Neighbors may not like my passive aggressive "re-transferring" of their trash to THEIR bin. But I do not give a quarter of a fuck. You make a lot of trash frat boys, I understand. But do not assume I'm not using my bin. And ESPECIALLY do not assume I'm not going to notice that your bags have wandered "innocuously" into my bin. You know by now that I'm just ignorant enough to do exactly what I did. Love ya! (not)
8. Apparently, I'm not enough of a diva for my 13 year old neighbor who bounded into my house yesterday, wandered back into my bedroom only to gape in horror as she watched me randomly trimming my hair in the mirror. When she asked me if I was afraid I might make a mistake, considering how difficult it was for me to actually see what I was doing, I replied..."It's hair. It'll grow back." Apparently, fabulous women do not say these things.
9. Ready for some shock and awe? How about some shock and euw? I've failed to mention the now mildly painful ganglion on the top of my right foot. Apparently, I dropped something heavy on my foot at some point (so sad that I've done that so many times I'm not sure which moment did it)...and over time and with running on top, I've formed this wondrous knot on the top of my foot that someone referred to as a testicle. Humph. After this series of tradeshows has ended, lil RPM must visit the podiatrist for removal or...*shudders* draining. It doesn't HURT persay, but I cannot wear any of the boots in my kickass boot collection, and this...will never do. But it's also going to mean a few weeks in a soft cast and crutchery if they actually decide to cut the thing out *faints*. That may mean no pottery for a bit (that's my pedal foot)...so let's root for drainage. Did I just say lets root for drainage? GACK!
10. I have no more random thoughts. Weren't those enough?
Hi there. On the tradeshow road, this week San Antonio, next week DC, the week after that back in San Antonio and then the folllowing week in Vegas.
If I write strange things during this time, or disappear for days at a time...don't be alarmed. Random thoughts...
- San Antonio might have the worst mexican food I've ever had. Wondering how that can possibly be. I also feel the Riverwalk is wildly, wildly overrated. There, I said it. Nothing against the town, really. Just get me the frack out of here.
- I miss my sister. So badly I may have to do a drive by visit to Los Angeles to squeeze her, sit on a beach and look at the side of her face.
- I also missed Adult Swim. I watched it last night until I feel asleep in my frigid hotel room. Not sure if it was my intoxication or just having been away from it for so long that made me so nostalgic. Each time I woke from my
stuporsleep I found myself laughing out loud. - For those of you who have nudged me to do the etsy thing...it commences this weekend, stay tuned.
- I'm going to write a short story called The Expo. I may save it for NaNoWriMo next month. Details on that later.
- I love Stewie. I mean, I really do.
The outrages I have suffered today will not soon be forgotten!
I miss this space. Be back just as soon as I can.
So as you may recall, I was in Santa Clara this week for a tradeshow. I bitched about SJC for a wee bit on my first day in the area, but other than that, I had precious little time to hang out with all that is Vox. I mean to tell you, I have a serious addiction going on here. But we'll get to that in a moment.
I have some family in the San Jose area, so this tradeshow meant getting a chance to hang out with my Uncle and some cousins while prepping for the tradeshow in neighboring Santa Clara. I haven't been in that area in nearly five years, so I was eager to catch up, and one thing I love about family is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Being able to pick up precisely where you left off without a hitch is always good. My cousin A, is a serious family historian, so I got to see some old pictures of us way back when. Ever noticed how as you age, and grow more clear about who you truly are - you can see SO much more in your face as a child then just the smile, eyes and crazy outfits? That's surreal.
So what was good? A break away from all the evolution that's been available to me in Austin. My uncles' hospitality, and my cousins and their humor. The nice, neat proximity to the show, to Patty's and to all the places I needed to frequent in between. The way the clouds and the sky seems to be right at your fingertips nearly everywhere you go in the bay area.
Tradeshow wasn't highly trafficked, but it gave me the chance to meet some additional contacts that may be critical to the growth of our business. The folks at the neighboring booths were awesome, so we all passed the loads of slow time cracking jokes, exchanging schwag and business cards. Sometimes I forget while working virtually, how much I miss the comraderie of professional peers. That combined with enough leads to at least justify the expense of the event, is enough to get tagged...for me.
What was awesome? *insert cheese grin here* If you visited Patty, Deb, Ben, Laurel then you have already seen some pictures and heard about the fun. I was convinced I would get lost, be terribly tired or worse yet, required to stay at the show longer then I expected. But everything fell into place, as events destined to happen usually do...and I made it to Patty's place for some of the MOST delicious treats (Patty: I need to know the names of those cheeses, and the peppers stuffed with Feta, I forgot to get them from you!!!), awesome company and some of the cutest kitties I've ever encountered (you too Meisha, hehehe).
Awesome? Please...I can't do it justice. Patty's hospitality and frightening ability to intuit just what your mind, tummy and taste buds are searching for. Deb's ability to see through to the precious little I don't share here about what goes on beneath the surface of me - and for us to connect on it after a hug? Ben's impeccable sense of timing and an appreciation for some of those other little residuals I choose not to address out loud. (PS...there's a post coming once I've had a chance to find the appropriate words for it...but I know you guys know what I'm getting at..)
I took none of these great pictures (that you're likely already seen, lmao). Thanks to Ben and Patty and Annabelle for capturing the priceless moments. I raise my glass and look forward to many more.
But of course, before I get back to a sea of out of office emails and things to do...let me tell you about the ugly. Yes...there was ugly. It was warmer in Austin then it was in Cali. I must've brought the bad weather with me. A torrent of rain on Thursday morning killed any chance we had for good attendance on the final day of the show. We wrapped up our booth early and headed to the land of the lost airport nearly three hours early. So...you may ask what tired expositioners do at the end of a tradeshow with hours to spare in a busted up airport?
You drink. And you drink. And you drink. Until the airport feels cozy and quaint, until you believe you will turn every lead you acquired into a sale, until 3 hours turns into ten minutes to get to your departure gate. Do I need to tell you where this is headed? Three hours later, RPM is stewed on gin and tonics (why gin? I'm still trying to find the answer to this question), sitting on a full American flight back to ATX sitting beside a young mother and her rambunctious, refuses to sleep ten month old with the hardest little baby shoes I've ever seen been kicked by in my life. Armed with the sippy cup from hell finding its way to my lap, I wafted between green sleep (hello quease) and nasty eye rolls tossed in the general direction of the little darling who used me as a sippy cup rest and kickboard for a three and half hour flight. When did she fall asleep? While we waited to de-plane after landing, naturally.
I got off the plane, found the restroom...and uh...got reacquainted with the six or so gin and tonics consummed. I want to believe that's all I had. I would have further discussions with these cursed beverages once I got in the house. Mecca could barely hide her disgust. I managed to dial a friend in South Carolina who (hanceforth be referred to as K) was waiting up to know I made it home. He was very supportive as he stifled laughter very poorly. Even pickled I have to say, he has a way about him.
I think I'm gonna like him. Nothing ugly about that. But that's another story for another day.
So I woke up again this morning at 4am and made my way to the airport. And...as usual, there's always lots to look at in total befuddlement about the whole aviation experience.
I pondered the sanity (and taste) of the woman who sported a red pea coat and pink flip flops, in upper forty degree weather. I gave a haughty older woman a good old fashioned Philly good morning when she turned and answered, "what?" to my request to be excused so I could access the ticket kiosk. (RPM sans coffee at 4:45am after a day of flight delays could easily take Rocky, the 28 year old version or the 68 year old version) I questioned the logic of security checkpoints being chronically understaffed in large airports and incredibly efficient in airports with a quarter of the traffic. Shouldn't it be the other way around? I wondered how much faster we could deplane if people weren't in a rush to stand and clog up the aisles as soon as the seat belt light and bell goes off. My travel schedule is about to pick up again - and every season I wonder the same things at least 25 times.
Travel can really bring out the worst in people.
On my flight from Cincinnati to Austin, we made our way across the sky in a puddle jumper. I thought I'd have my seat to myself until a woman with a small elephant as carry-on, tapped me on the shoulder to access the window seat I was secretly coveting. While she tried to shove the elephant under the seat in front of her, I glanced around for another seat to escape to. While my head was turned, this woman decided to sit on my lap whle she organized her things.
"Ummm...ma'm?" I said, peering around her arm. She turned, and with great shock replies..."Oh! I didn't know I was sitting on your lap!" She stands and so do I, to give her all the space she needs to organize Babar, her purse, a sack of novels and a blanket. Once SHE is settled, I sat.
Shortly thereafter, the flight attendant asks 5 people from rows 1-6 to select seats in rows 8-13. An unusual request but a nice opportunity to get away from the "lap dancer" and her elephant - so needless to say I offered myself up. I still wonder what that was about, but it was a smooth flight, so I'll let it go.
On the SAME flight, we later had an escaped cat named Hershey. Hershey climbed out of his case while his "mom" slept, and soon made a mockery of all of us, darting in and out of the aisle in various rows until the flight attendant finally cornered him near the pilots door.
Snakes on a plane? Try baby Babar and frisky felines.
So I'm back home. Pardon me while I take a break tonight to spend some quality time with a person I've missed a great deal...
me.
Be back tomorrow.
